Do you know that Gin and Tonic was first discovered in India?
He took a swig of his premixed cocktail and said, “How does that make a difference to my life, son?”
“Umm… you’re having something inspired by that, son?”
“Yeah so what d’you want me to do? Clap?”
“Why are you being such a dick? You’re like those uncles who get drunk, can’t control their alcohol and just want to pick a fight. And I was just trying to have a conversation with you. By the way, do you know who your great grandfather was?”
He took another big long gulp straight from the bottle and responded, “Why would you want to know about my great grandfather. Never met the guy in my life. Well looks like you’re trying to talk me into your stories, but let me tell you… IDGAF!”
“You’re supposed to use those abbreviations only on text, not in spoken language.”
“Those what? Why are you so full of rules and OH! You got to do this. And you got to be nice. And you got to listen to me. I got to do no such shit! I AM SUPPOSED TO ENJOY MY DRINK. NOW WILL YOU LET ME?”
“Of course I will… Once you listen to my story. But first, tell me have you read this book about the British rule in India and all their contributions to India?”
“THERE WE GO AGAIN! What about it? I didn’t come here to get a lesson in history. I CAME TO GET HAMMERED. Some random Indians decided to mix Gin with tonic water la dida dida. If you want me to be thankful to them, then I am. THANK YOU RANDOM DEAD GUY WHO DISCOVERED THIS DRINK. GOOD JOB!”
“… Now can I enjoy my drink?”
“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?”
“That’s not the story. This random dead guy was your great grandfather and he was chilling with some Britishers when they mixed this drink. I was looking up some books and the surname sounded too familiar so I chatted with your dad the other day and he told me that it’s actually your family history of sorts. It was discovered to cure malaria at the time of the British rule in India,” he said in a single breath.
“Wait… what? Tell me more.”
“I forgot how much I hate drinking with you. Thank you for reminding me.”